The picture above is an inspirational sign from Chocolate Nation in Antwerp, Belgium. Obviously, the first place I wanted to visit.
The Chocolate Bandit Unmasked
Every now and then my husband, Dave, channels his inner romantic hero and I melt into
a puddle of goo. In this case a rather large chocolate flavored puddle. You see, every year on
February 1 a mysterious Chocolate Bandit comes in the middle of the night and leaves chocolate
treats for me and my daughter. I don’t know if he visits anyone else. I selfishly hope not, because
I love him passionately. I usually make the mistake of expressing my enthusiasm openly which
makes Dave jealous. I point out that he doesn’t need to be jealous. He is perfectly free to one up
the chocolate bandit and give me even fancier chocolate any time he likes. I also accept cheese.
He grumbles. Then, on Valentine’s Day there is more chocolate (this year, Ferro Rocher) and a
card where Dave reveals that HE’S the chocolate bandit! I’m always extremely suspicious of this
claim. A girl can never get enough romantic mystery in her life.
I especially love the chocolate bandit because Valentines Day always arrives when we are
at our most broke and have the lowest energy of the year. The chocolate perks me up
wonderfully, but nothing can completely compensate for the dreariness of February. Usually,
when the big day finally rolls around, we go out for dinner and call it a holiday. But this year,
probably because of the weird absence of winter, we did better. Or at least I thought we had until
I realized that the adventures we planned were both solitary. Oops.
First, we went to the romantic Machu Picchu. Or at least the virtual version of it. Unlike
my personal VR set, I could move around fairly freely. The rule is that you must stay between
the yellow lines. No problem! One of the lines bordered the edge of an ancient terrace with a
drop off thousands of feet. I couldn’t exactly see Dave, only a very fit looking outline. He would
have approved. The program comes with a virtual guide who zooms around and tells you about
what you are seeing. The whole thing lasts about an hour. We both felt that it was a little
overpriced but liked it well enough that when they bring the next experience (Egypt) we’ll
probably go again.
Our next adventure was to go to the True Rest Float Spa in Draper, despite the fact that
“True Rest” struck us as a great name for a cemetery. Here, each person has a private room with
a bench, shower and a giant egg filled with 10 inches of water and thousands of pounds of salt.
You can leave the doors of the egg open or closed, have music or not. Then you simply float for
an hour. Usually, I’m much too squirrley to just lie around doing nothing, but this was different. I
felt as though I were in space, then a leaf floating lazily downstream. I also felt as though I was
back in the womb. I wondered if that was a weird thing to feel, and decided that no, given the
circumstances I could hardly miss the metaphor, so I enjoyed it. I realized that I probably gave
my poor mother a lot of trouble because I liked bouncing around the walls of the egg. After an
hour, music lets you know your time is up. After you shower, etc. You can lounge in the “Oasis”
sipping tea for as long as you like. Definitely worth trying at least once.
So, I was feeling great about Valentines until the other night when I mentioned that the
chocolate bandit had done especially well this year with the Ferro Rocher. Then Dave says
casually,
“Yeah, I recycled that from Christmas.”
“WHAT??!!!”
“Come on, I bet you didn’t even notice.”
“That’s not the point! The Chocolate Bandit does NOT give used candy!”
“It wasn’t used; it was brand new. Look at this.” and then he proceeds to point out the huge bowl
of chocolate in the hallway, and also the pantry which is overflowing with chocolate--as though
any of that were relevant.
“You don’t need more chocolate.”
“That’s not the point!!” I screeched while the crash of him falling off his pedestal registered on
the Richter scale for miles around.
To be clear. The point is that the Chocolate Bandit has a LOT of work to do next year and
the years after that if he ever hopes to regain his legendary status. It is not too early for him to get
started!
a puddle of goo. In this case a rather large chocolate flavored puddle. You see, every year on
February 1 a mysterious Chocolate Bandit comes in the middle of the night and leaves chocolate
treats for me and my daughter. I don’t know if he visits anyone else. I selfishly hope not, because
I love him passionately. I usually make the mistake of expressing my enthusiasm openly which
makes Dave jealous. I point out that he doesn’t need to be jealous. He is perfectly free to one up
the chocolate bandit and give me even fancier chocolate any time he likes. I also accept cheese.
He grumbles. Then, on Valentine’s Day there is more chocolate (this year, Ferro Rocher) and a
card where Dave reveals that HE’S the chocolate bandit! I’m always extremely suspicious of this
claim. A girl can never get enough romantic mystery in her life.
I especially love the chocolate bandit because Valentines Day always arrives when we are
at our most broke and have the lowest energy of the year. The chocolate perks me up
wonderfully, but nothing can completely compensate for the dreariness of February. Usually,
when the big day finally rolls around, we go out for dinner and call it a holiday. But this year,
probably because of the weird absence of winter, we did better. Or at least I thought we had until
I realized that the adventures we planned were both solitary. Oops.
First, we went to the romantic Machu Picchu. Or at least the virtual version of it. Unlike
my personal VR set, I could move around fairly freely. The rule is that you must stay between
the yellow lines. No problem! One of the lines bordered the edge of an ancient terrace with a
drop off thousands of feet. I couldn’t exactly see Dave, only a very fit looking outline. He would
have approved. The program comes with a virtual guide who zooms around and tells you about
what you are seeing. The whole thing lasts about an hour. We both felt that it was a little
overpriced but liked it well enough that when they bring the next experience (Egypt) we’ll
probably go again.
Our next adventure was to go to the True Rest Float Spa in Draper, despite the fact that
“True Rest” struck us as a great name for a cemetery. Here, each person has a private room with
a bench, shower and a giant egg filled with 10 inches of water and thousands of pounds of salt.
You can leave the doors of the egg open or closed, have music or not. Then you simply float for
an hour. Usually, I’m much too squirrley to just lie around doing nothing, but this was different. I
felt as though I were in space, then a leaf floating lazily downstream. I also felt as though I was
back in the womb. I wondered if that was a weird thing to feel, and decided that no, given the
circumstances I could hardly miss the metaphor, so I enjoyed it. I realized that I probably gave
my poor mother a lot of trouble because I liked bouncing around the walls of the egg. After an
hour, music lets you know your time is up. After you shower, etc. You can lounge in the “Oasis”
sipping tea for as long as you like. Definitely worth trying at least once.
So, I was feeling great about Valentines until the other night when I mentioned that the
chocolate bandit had done especially well this year with the Ferro Rocher. Then Dave says
casually,
“Yeah, I recycled that from Christmas.”
“WHAT??!!!”
“Come on, I bet you didn’t even notice.”
“That’s not the point! The Chocolate Bandit does NOT give used candy!”
“It wasn’t used; it was brand new. Look at this.” and then he proceeds to point out the huge bowl
of chocolate in the hallway, and also the pantry which is overflowing with chocolate--as though
any of that were relevant.
“You don’t need more chocolate.”
“That’s not the point!!” I screeched while the crash of him falling off his pedestal registered on
the Richter scale for miles around.
To be clear. The point is that the Chocolate Bandit has a LOT of work to do next year and
the years after that if he ever hopes to regain his legendary status. It is not too early for him to get
started!