Rah Rah the Slugs
A good friend of ours, who teaches at UC Santa Cruz just sent my husband the best T-shirt featuring the school mascot. If you don’t already know what it is, you’d never guess in a thousand years. Ready? It’s that noble creature: The Banana Slug.
I don’t know much about that school. But this mascot has got to be, by far, the most interesting thing about it. I sent this friend an email demanding to know why she’s never told us that she is a banana slug, but as soon as I typed out those words the reason became obvious. Naturally, I wanted to hear the school fight song and sure enough, on YouTube you can find a student joyfully singing:
Banana Slugs...Racing 'cross the field
Banana Slugs...Partially congealed
Banana Slugs...Leaping for the dunk
Banana Slugs...Oozing lots of spunk
Ne ne ne ne...never showing fear
Hey hey hey hey...hey put down that beer
Sla sla sla sla...slather you with slime
Wi wi wi wi...win another time
Banana Slugs...hear our battle cry:
Shrivel up and die!
Admittedly, these are the unofficial lyrics. I performed an exhaustive 30 second internet search but could not find anything official. One person believes that there is no approved fight song. I hope that’s true, because I want these lyrics permanently instated and proudly sung at every game.
The more I think about it, the more I approve of a slug mascot. If you want a creature to strike fear into your opponents, the slug really works. I mean, if I were to go outside and find a tiger on the lawn, I would shriek and run. But if I found a banana slug (they can grow up to 9 inches) I think I’d shriek even louder and run even faster.
The internet tells me that if you happen to touch a banana slug, they are harmless. I beg to differ. I’m certain that if I touch one, I will die on the spot. Nevertheless, some internet crazy asked about keeping one as a pet. The reply was, “sure,” and, in an effort to find something good to say about this idea, the responder said that it would be “unusual” and would be sure to “start some conversations.” No doubt. And end a few too I imagine. But I got into the spirit of the thing and came up with two other solid positives: 1. It’s bright yellow which makes it marginally less disgusting, and 2. if you have one, and you put this fact on a dating app and someone actually responds positively, then Bingo! You’ve found your soulmate.
And speaking of mates (sorry, I’ve learned more than I ever meant to about slugs), Banana slugs are hermaphrodites–meaning they can be either male or female as needed, and in fact, it’s possible for both slugs to become pregnant from the same encounter. The sooner the human race can embrace this kind of long overdue equity the better! Also, in extreme situations they can even impregnate themselves, but for genetic reasons, this is a bad idea even in their world.
Lastly, and most alarmingly, but you knew this was coming–somebody asked if banana slugs could be eaten? Here’s the response from feralfoodblog, referring to the green and black varieties, “...which we declined to eat, because our friend Sheila says they taste like rubber tires, and even just licking them raw can make your tongue numb.”
Hold on! Another song has come my way. This one is by Jeffrey Scharf. I’m including it here because using the word ‘gastropod’ in a fight song fills me with delight.
Banana Slugs, you persevere,
Banana Slugs, you know no fear.
Banana Slugs, you are our heroes.
Banana Slugs, of thee we sing,
The forests with your praises ring,
Of gastropods, you are the king.
Banana Slugs, your slithering
Has your opponents withering.
So once again we are cheering your
Journey on to victory.
I can only add--OOOOOZE ON SLUGS!!!
(Note: I just checked the word count. Not including this sentence the count is 666. I swear I didn’t do that on purpose.)
Back to Broadening the Mind
I don’t know much about that school. But this mascot has got to be, by far, the most interesting thing about it. I sent this friend an email demanding to know why she’s never told us that she is a banana slug, but as soon as I typed out those words the reason became obvious. Naturally, I wanted to hear the school fight song and sure enough, on YouTube you can find a student joyfully singing:
Banana Slugs...Racing 'cross the field
Banana Slugs...Partially congealed
Banana Slugs...Leaping for the dunk
Banana Slugs...Oozing lots of spunk
Ne ne ne ne...never showing fear
Hey hey hey hey...hey put down that beer
Sla sla sla sla...slather you with slime
Wi wi wi wi...win another time
Banana Slugs...hear our battle cry:
Shrivel up and die!
Admittedly, these are the unofficial lyrics. I performed an exhaustive 30 second internet search but could not find anything official. One person believes that there is no approved fight song. I hope that’s true, because I want these lyrics permanently instated and proudly sung at every game.
The more I think about it, the more I approve of a slug mascot. If you want a creature to strike fear into your opponents, the slug really works. I mean, if I were to go outside and find a tiger on the lawn, I would shriek and run. But if I found a banana slug (they can grow up to 9 inches) I think I’d shriek even louder and run even faster.
The internet tells me that if you happen to touch a banana slug, they are harmless. I beg to differ. I’m certain that if I touch one, I will die on the spot. Nevertheless, some internet crazy asked about keeping one as a pet. The reply was, “sure,” and, in an effort to find something good to say about this idea, the responder said that it would be “unusual” and would be sure to “start some conversations.” No doubt. And end a few too I imagine. But I got into the spirit of the thing and came up with two other solid positives: 1. It’s bright yellow which makes it marginally less disgusting, and 2. if you have one, and you put this fact on a dating app and someone actually responds positively, then Bingo! You’ve found your soulmate.
And speaking of mates (sorry, I’ve learned more than I ever meant to about slugs), Banana slugs are hermaphrodites–meaning they can be either male or female as needed, and in fact, it’s possible for both slugs to become pregnant from the same encounter. The sooner the human race can embrace this kind of long overdue equity the better! Also, in extreme situations they can even impregnate themselves, but for genetic reasons, this is a bad idea even in their world.
Lastly, and most alarmingly, but you knew this was coming–somebody asked if banana slugs could be eaten? Here’s the response from feralfoodblog, referring to the green and black varieties, “...which we declined to eat, because our friend Sheila says they taste like rubber tires, and even just licking them raw can make your tongue numb.”
Hold on! Another song has come my way. This one is by Jeffrey Scharf. I’m including it here because using the word ‘gastropod’ in a fight song fills me with delight.
Banana Slugs, you persevere,
Banana Slugs, you know no fear.
Banana Slugs, you are our heroes.
Banana Slugs, of thee we sing,
The forests with your praises ring,
Of gastropods, you are the king.
Banana Slugs, your slithering
Has your opponents withering.
So once again we are cheering your
Journey on to victory.
I can only add--OOOOOZE ON SLUGS!!!
(Note: I just checked the word count. Not including this sentence the count is 666. I swear I didn’t do that on purpose.)
Back to Broadening the Mind