One Tax, Two Tax, Red Tax, Blue Tax
Doing my taxes is not an activity where I usually find a laugh. But this year I did find some grim humor as I went through the annual ritual of resetting the password on our online tax platform. This year, I chose something easy, yet meaningful.
HelpMePlease!
This was rejected for, “Being too easy to guess.” Well, I suppose it IS a universal sentiment. Anyway, since my understanding of taxes is basic in the extreme, and my grasp of math is, if anything, even worse, I was inspired to put my feelings into the simplest format I could find. I’ve based my poem on Dr. Seuss’s “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.” I hope you won’t relate.
One tax. Two tax. Red tax. Blue tax.
Tax for black and tax for blue, tax for old and tax for new.
This line has a little star
This line taxes my new car.
Say! What a lot of tax there are!
Yes, some are old and some are new
And we’ll be broke before we’re through.
Most tax makes us sad.
But tax makes politicians glad.
And some tax makes us very very mad.
Why are they sad and glad and mad?
I do not know.
Go ask your dad.
Some lines are thin.
And some are fat.
The fat one has an extra stat.
From there to here,
From here to there,
Taxing things is everywhere.
Where is that form to write upon?
And those receipts that now are gone?
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
I see dollars flying by.
I have two forms and now have four.
There are six forms, I now have more.
Where do they come from? I don’t know,
I think they come from down below.
Here are folks now on the run
They’re running in the hot hot sun.
They made a goof.
I see them go.
Some filed fast
And some filed slow.
Here’s a man
His name is Bill
He’s running now toward Brazil.
Should I go with him
I can’t say,
Brazil is very far away.
I count on my fingers!
One, two, three...
How many fingers
Do I see?
One, two, three, four,
Five, six, seven,
Eight, nine, ten.
I have eleven!
Eleven! This is something weird
My tax is wrong! It’s as I feared.
If this is checked it’s sure to fail!
Please visit me while I’m in jail.
HelpMePlease!
This was rejected for, “Being too easy to guess.” Well, I suppose it IS a universal sentiment. Anyway, since my understanding of taxes is basic in the extreme, and my grasp of math is, if anything, even worse, I was inspired to put my feelings into the simplest format I could find. I’ve based my poem on Dr. Seuss’s “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.” I hope you won’t relate.
One tax. Two tax. Red tax. Blue tax.
Tax for black and tax for blue, tax for old and tax for new.
This line has a little star
This line taxes my new car.
Say! What a lot of tax there are!
Yes, some are old and some are new
And we’ll be broke before we’re through.
Most tax makes us sad.
But tax makes politicians glad.
And some tax makes us very very mad.
Why are they sad and glad and mad?
I do not know.
Go ask your dad.
Some lines are thin.
And some are fat.
The fat one has an extra stat.
From there to here,
From here to there,
Taxing things is everywhere.
Where is that form to write upon?
And those receipts that now are gone?
Oh me! Oh my!
Oh me! Oh my!
I see dollars flying by.
I have two forms and now have four.
There are six forms, I now have more.
Where do they come from? I don’t know,
I think they come from down below.
Here are folks now on the run
They’re running in the hot hot sun.
They made a goof.
I see them go.
Some filed fast
And some filed slow.
Here’s a man
His name is Bill
He’s running now toward Brazil.
Should I go with him
I can’t say,
Brazil is very far away.
I count on my fingers!
One, two, three...
How many fingers
Do I see?
One, two, three, four,
Five, six, seven,
Eight, nine, ten.
I have eleven!
Eleven! This is something weird
My tax is wrong! It’s as I feared.
If this is checked it’s sure to fail!
Please visit me while I’m in jail.