(Mis)applied Physics
I think science is fascinating, but even more interesting to me are those who seem to be able to ignore its laws at will. Most of us can’t. I can’t, and so I wear my seatbelt, get vaccinated and stay behind the barriers at scenic overlooks. But I want to break free. The secret seems to be tied up with strength of will, coupled with helpful ignorance. But I can’t just go jump off a building and hope for the best. The graveyards are full of stubborn, wishful thinking idiots and I don’t want to join their ranks sooner than I can help. And yet…
Here's an example: there’s a law that says that two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time. This doesn’t bother my cat Tigger at all. He doesn’t know anything about science. So, like all cats, he does exactly as he pleases at all times, whether the laws of physics allow him to or not. If he wants to be on a certain spot on the bed, that’s where he will be. When I am in the way, he’ll condescend to sleep on my stomach because that’s the warmest place and this position proves his total dominance over me. If I leave, so much the better. When I get up, I can see that he is not near the place where I was, but in EXACTLY the same place and in the same position completely undisturbed. Clearly, he has phased his body through mine to stay in the spot that I have warmed up so nicely for him as was my duty. Every cat owner has experienced this phenomenon.
On the other hand, if you are burdened with a little knowledge, you might have a painfully opposite experience than Tigger’s. In my junior high gym class, someone decided that the uniform and public undressing weren’t humiliating enough, so a gymnastics unit was added. Here, I was supposed to hang from the lower part of the uneven bars and kick my feet up and over the bar thus lifting my whole body onto it. Gravity does not permit this, and I knew it. Therefore my body, led by my bottom, obeyed the laws of nature and remained anchored to the floor. No matter what I did, that’s where it stayed. From time to time the gym teacher would strain to heave me up and over the bar. This was not a happy experience for either of us. If she got a hernia as a result, she deserved it.
The point is, I didn’t think I had a choice about gravity, and so I was constrained by its rules. But certain people seem to be able to ignore physical laws at will. Take the Weber State cheerleaders, if they want to jump ten feet in the air from a standing position and land on the shoulders of another person, they just do it, never mind what the textbooks say. Then they jump lightly down without the shattered ankles that any normal person would experience when falling from that height. In fact, I suspect that the people on the bottom of the human pyramids are just for show. If they left, the cheerleaders above them could just keep on cheering from six feet off the ground.
Clearly something is going on and I’m determined to discover the secret and make it work for me. I’m starting where my will is the strongest. Cookies. I already bend all the rules of good sense when it comes to cookies, bending time and space shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I hope that soon while I’m lounging lazily on the sofa watching TV. I’ll no longer have to laboriously get up and trudge to the kitchen. Instead, I’ll stay as I am on the sofa, phase through Tigger (who of course, is on my lap) and float effortlessly, still in a seated position, to the cookies. I see no reason why I can’t do this. There are much weirder things in the universe.
Here's an example: there’s a law that says that two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time. This doesn’t bother my cat Tigger at all. He doesn’t know anything about science. So, like all cats, he does exactly as he pleases at all times, whether the laws of physics allow him to or not. If he wants to be on a certain spot on the bed, that’s where he will be. When I am in the way, he’ll condescend to sleep on my stomach because that’s the warmest place and this position proves his total dominance over me. If I leave, so much the better. When I get up, I can see that he is not near the place where I was, but in EXACTLY the same place and in the same position completely undisturbed. Clearly, he has phased his body through mine to stay in the spot that I have warmed up so nicely for him as was my duty. Every cat owner has experienced this phenomenon.
On the other hand, if you are burdened with a little knowledge, you might have a painfully opposite experience than Tigger’s. In my junior high gym class, someone decided that the uniform and public undressing weren’t humiliating enough, so a gymnastics unit was added. Here, I was supposed to hang from the lower part of the uneven bars and kick my feet up and over the bar thus lifting my whole body onto it. Gravity does not permit this, and I knew it. Therefore my body, led by my bottom, obeyed the laws of nature and remained anchored to the floor. No matter what I did, that’s where it stayed. From time to time the gym teacher would strain to heave me up and over the bar. This was not a happy experience for either of us. If she got a hernia as a result, she deserved it.
The point is, I didn’t think I had a choice about gravity, and so I was constrained by its rules. But certain people seem to be able to ignore physical laws at will. Take the Weber State cheerleaders, if they want to jump ten feet in the air from a standing position and land on the shoulders of another person, they just do it, never mind what the textbooks say. Then they jump lightly down without the shattered ankles that any normal person would experience when falling from that height. In fact, I suspect that the people on the bottom of the human pyramids are just for show. If they left, the cheerleaders above them could just keep on cheering from six feet off the ground.
Clearly something is going on and I’m determined to discover the secret and make it work for me. I’m starting where my will is the strongest. Cookies. I already bend all the rules of good sense when it comes to cookies, bending time and space shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I hope that soon while I’m lounging lazily on the sofa watching TV. I’ll no longer have to laboriously get up and trudge to the kitchen. Instead, I’ll stay as I am on the sofa, phase through Tigger (who of course, is on my lap) and float effortlessly, still in a seated position, to the cookies. I see no reason why I can’t do this. There are much weirder things in the universe.