Mind Over Matter
Usually, when it comes to the battle between mind and body, my mind doesn’t put up much of a fight. I think my brain reasons that since it only takes up about 2% of my total body mass, that it should only get about 2% of the say in any decision. Most of what’s happening goes on at a sub-conscious level, but I think most of the conversations go like this:
Mind: Yum! Here’s some whole grain toast and a banana for breakfast.
Body: Sounds great, but you forgot the Nutella.
Mind: Whoops! Sorry!
Body: Spread it on thick.
But when it comes to going on vacation, especially if that vacation is to a Disney theme park, my mind takes over completely and it admits no weakness. This comes as a severe shock to the body, but at the beginning, both are happily united.
Pre-Vacation
Mind: Let’s sit on the couch and binge watch Disney Park YouTube channels!
Body: Yay!!
At the Airport:
Mind: I need your help, body. I’m thinking of how I’d get around security if I were a terrorist, and I want to blurt out my ideas. I also have a very funny joke about bombs that I think the guard over there would enjoy.
Body: Gotcha. Mouth going on lock-down.
Mind: Phew, thanks!
This happy state of oneness with myself doesn’t last long.
Day One
Mind: Wheeee! I’m going to see and do and eat it all!
Body: Wheeee! I’m going to eat it all!
Happy Unison: Let’s go!
A little later in the day.
Body: Let’s take a rest.
Mind: Rest is a four-letter word. We’re going to ride this thing located on the farthest possible point away from us!
Body as it’s being forcibly marched away from the bench: Whaaaat? CHURRO! RED ALERT! CHURRO!
Mind: Oh sure. Here you go.
Body: Grumble grumble. I need a Dole Whip too.
End of the day
Mind: That was so great.
Body: Thank goodness that ordeal is over.
Day Two
Mind: It’s 6:00 a.m.! Time to joyfully leap out of bed!
Body: zzzzzzz
Mind: You’re coming with me!
Body: mmpfh, snort, whaaaa? What’s happening?
Mind: Here, have a synthetic hotel muffin. That’s plenty to walk miles on!
Body still bleary: Huh? Wha? GAACK! Phfttoey! That’s not food!
Mind: I never said it was. Shut up. I’ll feed you a pretzel later. Body: Who are you? What’s happening?
Day Three
Body: ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Later in the day
Mind to daughter: Can I try one of those vitamin packets of yours?
Body: Gasp---yes, please, anything… help!
Daughter: Sure, just mix it up in the water.
Me opening the spout on the water bottle and spraying vitamin water, narrowly missing the other people in line. “Hey!”
Daughter: You shook it? It’s carbonated!
Me: Oh well. There’s still plenty left. And I gulp it all down quickly just before riding the Incredicoaster.
Mind and Body after the ride: I think we may have made a mistake.
Day Four
Body: I never thought I’d say this, but can we have something not sugar?
Mind: Sure. Have a salad.
Body: Thank goodness.
Mind: And a Jack Jack cookie Num Num for dessert!
Body: You’ve already eaten…
Mind: And we need another one of those stuffed pretzels and we still haven’t had a Mickey bar! Ooooo! Look! There’s those macaroons YouTube was telling us about! Let’s go!
Body: Please tell me we’re not going clear to the other side of the park.
Mind: Nope! We’re going to the far side of the other park!
Body: You go ahead. I’m staying right here.
Mind: Ha Ha! You’re such a kidder!
Day Five:
Halfway through the day
Mind: This is so weird. I’m having so much fun, but I feel like bursting into tears. Oh well, I’ll swallow that feeling with another cookie.
A little later
Mind: Hey, body. Did you know the line for Indiana Jones is literally a quarter of a mile long? It’s the longest line in the park! I love it! Let’s go!
Body: I am in hell and strangely unable to die.
After the Indy ride.
Mind: Oh my gosh! Is that the time! This is our last day! We’ve got to move a whole lot faster!
Home at last:
Mind: Whoa! That blister is huge! I wonder when I got that?
Body: The first day, I tried to tell you.
Mind: And I think I’m sunburned! Body, why didn’t you let me know??
Body: I want a divorce.
Mind: I can’t wait to go back. What If I actually threw caution to the wind and went back tomorrow?
Chase Bank: NO!
That was a few days ago. I’m still not quite on speaking terms with myself. But that’s ok. By the time I have enough money saved up to go anywhere, I’ll be ready for an even bigger, grander adventure. I’ve always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail, it’s 2,190 miles of fun.
Mind: Yum! Here’s some whole grain toast and a banana for breakfast.
Body: Sounds great, but you forgot the Nutella.
Mind: Whoops! Sorry!
Body: Spread it on thick.
But when it comes to going on vacation, especially if that vacation is to a Disney theme park, my mind takes over completely and it admits no weakness. This comes as a severe shock to the body, but at the beginning, both are happily united.
Pre-Vacation
Mind: Let’s sit on the couch and binge watch Disney Park YouTube channels!
Body: Yay!!
At the Airport:
Mind: I need your help, body. I’m thinking of how I’d get around security if I were a terrorist, and I want to blurt out my ideas. I also have a very funny joke about bombs that I think the guard over there would enjoy.
Body: Gotcha. Mouth going on lock-down.
Mind: Phew, thanks!
This happy state of oneness with myself doesn’t last long.
Day One
Mind: Wheeee! I’m going to see and do and eat it all!
Body: Wheeee! I’m going to eat it all!
Happy Unison: Let’s go!
A little later in the day.
Body: Let’s take a rest.
Mind: Rest is a four-letter word. We’re going to ride this thing located on the farthest possible point away from us!
Body as it’s being forcibly marched away from the bench: Whaaaat? CHURRO! RED ALERT! CHURRO!
Mind: Oh sure. Here you go.
Body: Grumble grumble. I need a Dole Whip too.
End of the day
Mind: That was so great.
Body: Thank goodness that ordeal is over.
Day Two
Mind: It’s 6:00 a.m.! Time to joyfully leap out of bed!
Body: zzzzzzz
Mind: You’re coming with me!
Body: mmpfh, snort, whaaaa? What’s happening?
Mind: Here, have a synthetic hotel muffin. That’s plenty to walk miles on!
Body still bleary: Huh? Wha? GAACK! Phfttoey! That’s not food!
Mind: I never said it was. Shut up. I’ll feed you a pretzel later. Body: Who are you? What’s happening?
Day Three
Body: ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Later in the day
Mind to daughter: Can I try one of those vitamin packets of yours?
Body: Gasp---yes, please, anything… help!
Daughter: Sure, just mix it up in the water.
Me opening the spout on the water bottle and spraying vitamin water, narrowly missing the other people in line. “Hey!”
Daughter: You shook it? It’s carbonated!
Me: Oh well. There’s still plenty left. And I gulp it all down quickly just before riding the Incredicoaster.
Mind and Body after the ride: I think we may have made a mistake.
Day Four
Body: I never thought I’d say this, but can we have something not sugar?
Mind: Sure. Have a salad.
Body: Thank goodness.
Mind: And a Jack Jack cookie Num Num for dessert!
Body: You’ve already eaten…
Mind: And we need another one of those stuffed pretzels and we still haven’t had a Mickey bar! Ooooo! Look! There’s those macaroons YouTube was telling us about! Let’s go!
Body: Please tell me we’re not going clear to the other side of the park.
Mind: Nope! We’re going to the far side of the other park!
Body: You go ahead. I’m staying right here.
Mind: Ha Ha! You’re such a kidder!
Day Five:
Halfway through the day
Mind: This is so weird. I’m having so much fun, but I feel like bursting into tears. Oh well, I’ll swallow that feeling with another cookie.
A little later
Mind: Hey, body. Did you know the line for Indiana Jones is literally a quarter of a mile long? It’s the longest line in the park! I love it! Let’s go!
Body: I am in hell and strangely unable to die.
After the Indy ride.
Mind: Oh my gosh! Is that the time! This is our last day! We’ve got to move a whole lot faster!
Home at last:
Mind: Whoa! That blister is huge! I wonder when I got that?
Body: The first day, I tried to tell you.
Mind: And I think I’m sunburned! Body, why didn’t you let me know??
Body: I want a divorce.
Mind: I can’t wait to go back. What If I actually threw caution to the wind and went back tomorrow?
Chase Bank: NO!
That was a few days ago. I’m still not quite on speaking terms with myself. But that’s ok. By the time I have enough money saved up to go anywhere, I’ll be ready for an even bigger, grander adventure. I’ve always wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail, it’s 2,190 miles of fun.