Honest Work Histories
An Honest Work History Part One
We’ve been talking a lot about careers lately at work. This has made me reflect on my own history. Unfortunately, this resembles nothing so much as a firework that has been knocked over and is sputtering in circles on the ground lighting the grass on fire as it goes. I figure the aimlessness of my career is on me. But the typhoid Mary-esque results surely can’t be my fault. The fact is, an alarming percentage of the places I’ve worked or gone to school (and there have been many) have literally gone to pieces as soon as I’ve left.
I have no idea why this is. It’s not as if I spend my spare time making voodoo dolls or chanting curses. I wouldn’t want to. I liked school. I’ve liked the places I’ve worked and the people there. I’ve never wished another person harm in my life (well, except maybe people who talk incessantly and take flash pictures while riding rides at Disneyland, the sooner they all sprain their ankles the better). But, the recent floods in Yellowstone and the fire at a temp job last month, have made me wonder again what kind of karma is happening here? I’ve decided to reveal my true work history in this two-part column in hopes that somebody out there can tell me what’s going on.
Just for fun, I looked up my original elementary school in Manhatten, New York to see if it was still there. It is, but the banner on the website proudly proclaims PS 24 as, “The Spuyten Duyvil School” which I can’t help but read as, ‘The Spitting Devil School.’ My parents didn’t know this was an omen.
Here we go. All of this is true.
After kindergarten and first grade at the devil school, we moved to Salt Lake City where I attended Washington elementary. The school was a beautiful old-fashioned building with polished wood and graceful archways. The summer after I graduated, it was torn down.
Next, I went to Bryant Jr. High. The summer after I graduated, it was torn down.
I moved on to West High School. It’s still standing, but the summer after I graduated, the seminary building was torn down. “You’re a little rough on the schools you attend,” my parents joked.
The summer after high school, I worked at Taco Time. It went out of business soon after I quit. This struck me as odd, because it seemed like a great location. Apparently not. No business has ever been successful in that spot since.
I went to Brigham Young University but took a break to do some good in the world by serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I went to West Virginia. I really loved the people there, so I felt extra bad as I helped them dig out from the record breaking floods that hit my area.
Back in college, I met my future husband. During my last semester, some big mouth in my family told him about my other schools and the flood. He laughed and teased me with speculations about what might happen to BYU once I left. Then he came with me to meet with the counselor for my graduation sign off, but we couldn’t finish the appointment because of the fire alarm. “Maybe I should reconsider,” he said as he watched the people streaming out of the building.
I rescheduled for later and graduated. The religion building was immediately torn down. I began to wonder what God was trying to say to me? I’m not that much of a heretic. And what was with all the copies of the mission rulebook that I kept finding? I'd barely read the one I was given, where had the other eight come from?
But I digress. Luck was with me. Dave dismissed my record as coincidence and married me anyway. We had a lovely honeymoon in Germany just before the Berlin wall came down.
Since we had no children yet, we thought it would be fun to take jobs teaching English in Japan. We worked for one year, finishing in 1990. This signaled the beginning of economic chaos so bad, that the 90’s in Japan, are referred to as “The lost decade.”
We came back to the USA, happy to be home in a place where we speak the language and where tuna fish is not a pizza topping.
We were still newlyweds. What did life have in store for us? I’ll tell you next time. Spoiler alert: There’s more flooding.
An Honest Work History Part Two
On the face of it, my work history is about what you’d expect from an English major with no clue what to do with her life. The problem has been the aftermath. There’s been a lot of damage. In my previous column I outlined my history from the demolition of my elementary school, to the economic collapse in Japan after I taught English there. But before I get started, I want to point out that I have worked several places with no unfortunate consequences. Still, I am careful what I say in job interviews. Usually, I go with the truth, “I love people!” rather than the truth: “If you hire me, the catastrophe is usually worth it.”
Here’s the rest of the story, I’m hoping someone out there can make some sense of this.
After coming back to the US from Japan, we moved to Tucson, Arizona. I managed a game store at the mall. A few months after I left, the mall gave its last gasp and died.
Next, we moved to Houston, TX where I worked at a small branch library. Amazingly, it’s still there, although Harris county, where we lived, won “most polluted city in America” during our stay.
We fled the heat and the smog and moved to Colorado where I worked on a small weekly newspaper. A few weeks after I moved on, the owner lost what little grip on reality he’d ever had, and suffered a complete mental collapse, followed by his newspaper building burning down.
Next, we moved to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I worked at the main library. When my husband got a job in Ogden, Utah, I turned in my notice. This triggered the worst flood in 500 years, wiping out the library and half the town.
We sold out house (easy, there weren’t many left standing) and moved here in 2008. We both work at Weber State and I’m relieved to report that Weber is thriving, although it’s not in quite the same condition as when I found it.
I began as a secretary in the math department in old building four. When I moved to my current position in a different building. Weber instantly tore down building four and neighboring building three.
I began work on a degree in psychology graduating in spring of 2016. In response, Weber immediately tore that building down to the foundation and rebuilt. (Both buildings that replaced the ones that came down are beautiful. Now that my history is known, I wouldn’t say no to a small plaque honoring my contribution).
Meanwhile, in my personal life, I accepted the task of leading the women’s organization at church, a position that usually lasts about five years. I didn’t even make it one. I think God decided it was time to give me a taste of my own medicine. As soon as I said yes to the calling, the city declared eminent domain and tore down our house to widen the street. For good measure, as soon as we had moved, the church redrew the boundaries and reorganized the entire area.
Next, I decided to get a masters degree in education. I defended my thesis in January of 2020. I don’t want to talk about 2020. Now that things are almost back to normal, the building is scheduled to be demolished.
Now, it’s 2022. Everything has been fairly stable in my little world except for the floods in Yellowstone this year just after I visited. Oh, and there was a small fire that broke out after I helped my sister with some detail painting for her company, but that was minor. Retirement is still some years away, so I think everyone and everything is safe for now. One thing’s for sure, my husband, Dave, says he’ll never divorce me because he’s afraid he’ll go up in flames if he does.
I’ve thought about ways to use my “gift” for good. I’ve considered taking a job with a horrible organization like the Mafia just so I could later quit and watch them disintegrate. But there are problems. For one thing, groups like this tend not to let their people quit. Plus, I can’t control what collapses and what comes back stronger than ever. I don’t dare risk it. Do any of you have any idea what I should do with this “skill”? I’m open to suggestions.
Back to At Work
We’ve been talking a lot about careers lately at work. This has made me reflect on my own history. Unfortunately, this resembles nothing so much as a firework that has been knocked over and is sputtering in circles on the ground lighting the grass on fire as it goes. I figure the aimlessness of my career is on me. But the typhoid Mary-esque results surely can’t be my fault. The fact is, an alarming percentage of the places I’ve worked or gone to school (and there have been many) have literally gone to pieces as soon as I’ve left.
I have no idea why this is. It’s not as if I spend my spare time making voodoo dolls or chanting curses. I wouldn’t want to. I liked school. I’ve liked the places I’ve worked and the people there. I’ve never wished another person harm in my life (well, except maybe people who talk incessantly and take flash pictures while riding rides at Disneyland, the sooner they all sprain their ankles the better). But, the recent floods in Yellowstone and the fire at a temp job last month, have made me wonder again what kind of karma is happening here? I’ve decided to reveal my true work history in this two-part column in hopes that somebody out there can tell me what’s going on.
Just for fun, I looked up my original elementary school in Manhatten, New York to see if it was still there. It is, but the banner on the website proudly proclaims PS 24 as, “The Spuyten Duyvil School” which I can’t help but read as, ‘The Spitting Devil School.’ My parents didn’t know this was an omen.
Here we go. All of this is true.
After kindergarten and first grade at the devil school, we moved to Salt Lake City where I attended Washington elementary. The school was a beautiful old-fashioned building with polished wood and graceful archways. The summer after I graduated, it was torn down.
Next, I went to Bryant Jr. High. The summer after I graduated, it was torn down.
I moved on to West High School. It’s still standing, but the summer after I graduated, the seminary building was torn down. “You’re a little rough on the schools you attend,” my parents joked.
The summer after high school, I worked at Taco Time. It went out of business soon after I quit. This struck me as odd, because it seemed like a great location. Apparently not. No business has ever been successful in that spot since.
I went to Brigham Young University but took a break to do some good in the world by serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I went to West Virginia. I really loved the people there, so I felt extra bad as I helped them dig out from the record breaking floods that hit my area.
Back in college, I met my future husband. During my last semester, some big mouth in my family told him about my other schools and the flood. He laughed and teased me with speculations about what might happen to BYU once I left. Then he came with me to meet with the counselor for my graduation sign off, but we couldn’t finish the appointment because of the fire alarm. “Maybe I should reconsider,” he said as he watched the people streaming out of the building.
I rescheduled for later and graduated. The religion building was immediately torn down. I began to wonder what God was trying to say to me? I’m not that much of a heretic. And what was with all the copies of the mission rulebook that I kept finding? I'd barely read the one I was given, where had the other eight come from?
But I digress. Luck was with me. Dave dismissed my record as coincidence and married me anyway. We had a lovely honeymoon in Germany just before the Berlin wall came down.
Since we had no children yet, we thought it would be fun to take jobs teaching English in Japan. We worked for one year, finishing in 1990. This signaled the beginning of economic chaos so bad, that the 90’s in Japan, are referred to as “The lost decade.”
We came back to the USA, happy to be home in a place where we speak the language and where tuna fish is not a pizza topping.
We were still newlyweds. What did life have in store for us? I’ll tell you next time. Spoiler alert: There’s more flooding.
An Honest Work History Part Two
On the face of it, my work history is about what you’d expect from an English major with no clue what to do with her life. The problem has been the aftermath. There’s been a lot of damage. In my previous column I outlined my history from the demolition of my elementary school, to the economic collapse in Japan after I taught English there. But before I get started, I want to point out that I have worked several places with no unfortunate consequences. Still, I am careful what I say in job interviews. Usually, I go with the truth, “I love people!” rather than the truth: “If you hire me, the catastrophe is usually worth it.”
Here’s the rest of the story, I’m hoping someone out there can make some sense of this.
After coming back to the US from Japan, we moved to Tucson, Arizona. I managed a game store at the mall. A few months after I left, the mall gave its last gasp and died.
Next, we moved to Houston, TX where I worked at a small branch library. Amazingly, it’s still there, although Harris county, where we lived, won “most polluted city in America” during our stay.
We fled the heat and the smog and moved to Colorado where I worked on a small weekly newspaper. A few weeks after I moved on, the owner lost what little grip on reality he’d ever had, and suffered a complete mental collapse, followed by his newspaper building burning down.
Next, we moved to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I worked at the main library. When my husband got a job in Ogden, Utah, I turned in my notice. This triggered the worst flood in 500 years, wiping out the library and half the town.
We sold out house (easy, there weren’t many left standing) and moved here in 2008. We both work at Weber State and I’m relieved to report that Weber is thriving, although it’s not in quite the same condition as when I found it.
I began as a secretary in the math department in old building four. When I moved to my current position in a different building. Weber instantly tore down building four and neighboring building three.
I began work on a degree in psychology graduating in spring of 2016. In response, Weber immediately tore that building down to the foundation and rebuilt. (Both buildings that replaced the ones that came down are beautiful. Now that my history is known, I wouldn’t say no to a small plaque honoring my contribution).
Meanwhile, in my personal life, I accepted the task of leading the women’s organization at church, a position that usually lasts about five years. I didn’t even make it one. I think God decided it was time to give me a taste of my own medicine. As soon as I said yes to the calling, the city declared eminent domain and tore down our house to widen the street. For good measure, as soon as we had moved, the church redrew the boundaries and reorganized the entire area.
Next, I decided to get a masters degree in education. I defended my thesis in January of 2020. I don’t want to talk about 2020. Now that things are almost back to normal, the building is scheduled to be demolished.
Now, it’s 2022. Everything has been fairly stable in my little world except for the floods in Yellowstone this year just after I visited. Oh, and there was a small fire that broke out after I helped my sister with some detail painting for her company, but that was minor. Retirement is still some years away, so I think everyone and everything is safe for now. One thing’s for sure, my husband, Dave, says he’ll never divorce me because he’s afraid he’ll go up in flames if he does.
I’ve thought about ways to use my “gift” for good. I’ve considered taking a job with a horrible organization like the Mafia just so I could later quit and watch them disintegrate. But there are problems. For one thing, groups like this tend not to let their people quit. Plus, I can’t control what collapses and what comes back stronger than ever. I don’t dare risk it. Do any of you have any idea what I should do with this “skill”? I’m open to suggestions.
Back to At Work