Feeling Green and Clammy
This stupid cough, this stupid cough, I do not like this stupid cough!
Would you like some little pills?
Those little pills, those little pills, they do nothing when I’m ill!
I’ve taken pills both large and small, I do not like them not at all.
My eyes with constant tears are swelling
My nose has lost its sense of smelling
These coughs are loudly decibelling.
Would you like some honey tea?
I would not like some honey tea
It has done nothing to help me.
So, I will cough around the house and on the cat and on my spouse.
And I will cough upon the goat
What is this crud that’s in my throat?
I’ve coughed upon the eggs and ham, and on the roast and on the spam.
And I will cough through days and nights
I’ve called the priest for my last rites.
Would you like to blow your nose?
I would NOT like to blow my nose, but I must blow it, here it goes-
And I will blow it here at home, and on the little garden gnome,
I’ve blown my nose while in the tub,
It matters not how much I scrub
I’ve blown it and it makes a hoot
And it’s as red as Rudolf’s snoot.
Yes, I will blow it here and there, and I will blow it everywhere.
Would you like to get some sleep?
I’d like to sleep; I need some rest!
It’s in these jammies I am dressed.
But sleep is like a far-off dream
Though I’ve rubbed my chest with vapo-cream
When I lie down my lungs make gunk
Then I must cough to clear the junk.
Would you like some chicken broth?
I’m sure that that will cure your cough.
You’d think. That’s what the doctor’s say,
This cold has yet to go away.
Broth makes more liquid for my nose
Then I must stay up while it blows
Nyquil’s best, my mother thunk,
But I’ve gulped Nyquil till I’m drunk.
This cold is something pestilential
But I smell great with oils essential
My stomach’s weak, my skin is clammy
Please take away these eggs and hammy!
Would you–sniff–like some–cough cough–excuse me, the Kleenex box?
Sure, place it here beside my cup.
I’ve bought so much; stock has gone up.
Here you—oh no, my stomach’s feeling queasy,
and my nose is feeling sneezy.
I’m sorry friend, you’ve caught my cold.
Here is that soup, it’s great I’m told.
The place for you is in a bed.
I’ll visit soon if I’m not dead.